The River of Constant Change

Bad times. Good times. Nothing lasts.

I used to scribble things like, “Change changelessly changing change.” I scribbled them because to say them might have made people think my brain was glitching.

And in high school, no one would have understood. I had a hard enough time then anyway. I thank all the gods every day that no one found my notebooks then.

There are other lines about change that have changelessly stayed with me.

“The sands of time were eroded by the river of constant change.” That’s a great line from the Peter Gabriel era of Genesis.

“He knows changes aren’t permanent. But change is.” That’s the late, great Neil Peart with a brilliant Rush lyric.

“Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strange.” Bowie.

Growing up with an anxiety disorder, changes were terrifying. Even the good ones. It was a disruption to the routine, and my brain has always had a hard time facing the strange changes.

That same anxiety disorder always convinced me that a bad change was permanent. Even though life takes a baseball bat to my head and repeatedly reminds me that nothing is permanent. Except change.

But the flip side of the coin is right there. The good times aren’t permanent either. So strap in and ride the rapids. This is life.

“Change,” said Spock, “is the essential process of all existence.”

But routine is a part of life, too. Maybe it’s an essential tool for coping with too many changes. Most of us can’t figure out how to properly balance the two.

Some of us are so afraid of routine that we obsess over avoiding it, to the detriment of our physical and mental health. And some of us are so afraid of change that we obsess to the point of religious mania over avoiding it. That’s why religion can be so allergic to change.

But change is always coming. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad — two things we can’t deny. That’s because change itself is always changing.

I’m rambling. But rambling is my routine. And routine helps me get ready for change.

I know that doesn’t make sense. But that’s okay, because nothing does.

All we have, you and I, is a need to understand that we’re all trying to navigate our way down this river of constant change the best we can. And maybe, just maybe, we’ve got to cut each other some slack.

Change is in the air.

More soon.